Friday, July 10, 2009

Seeing The Past And The Future; Robert and His Dad

For those of you who did not know, Robert's dad got diagnosed with lung cancer a few months back. All of us were rocked by the diagnosis, because his mother passed away from the same cancer three years ago. As I looked on, I couldn't help but feel a little disgusted for all the people I know who whine about drama and gossip... While watching Robert as he stoically walked beside his father through chemo, and helping his very proudly independent dad with carrying groceries up the stairs for him.

Every day that has gone by, I have become more and more in love with him and his father as they wordlessly expressed their intimacy through hard-nose jokes about the doom and gloom of our depressed economy. I have seen my husband do everything to accommodate his father, no small request was considered as trifling; if there was something to do for his dad...He did it without question. It was clear to me that this dance between father and son was private and personal; so, I just tried my best to support them as I possibly could and respect both of their dignity...

In other words, they didn't want any bimbo-driven, ovary-related gushes of tears and boohoos.... And since I saw that they were both strong enough to go through this with their chins up, I tried my best to mirror them and do the same....

And, whaddya know? I learned a new way of expressing my emotions---WITHOUT WORDS! (*gong* EUREKA!!) Instead, I learned to give soft hugs, back rubs, and better eye contact.(sometimes I really suck at eye contact) I can honestly say that I never knew how to express my emotions this way, without being an utter blab-basket. In return, I have gotten a chance to see the past and the future of both these old-fashioned men and my heart has grown big, knowing that Robert will most likely turn out to be just like his dad when he gets older. A little grouchy, sarcastic, stand-up guy.... And, I like what I see.

Yesterday, Robert's dad was admitted to the hospital, put on a ventilator, and admitted to the ICU. The doctors think it is due to a lung infection, being that the chemo had worn his immune system down. So, from what I understand, he has to be on the vent for a few days and then he will be transferred to a regular Oncology bed, until he is completely well. Since yesterday, Rob has spent every moment he has by his father's side, until visiting hours are over, and then he comes home to me...I can see how tired he is... But, there is also another part that I see in his eyes, the part that KNOWS he is doing all he can to comfort his father, and is accepting of what is going on. That part...makes my tears well up, even as I write this.

He is a strong man, my Robert. And, I love him with all of my heart.

Even now, I am waiting for him to come home, and am jumping up at every car that passes by like some lovesick teenager...Eager to hug her beau.

So that is what has been up with me and my writing. Real life, once again, calls for all of my attention. But, that's okay...

My two old men have taught me about patience and watching the world talk to me in things that are not words...

I can hang.


P.S. To all of those who have been praying and meditating for us.... Thank you from the bottom of my gushy nerd-bimbo's heart.

1 comment:

  1. You are so very lucky to have this. Most people don't even notice what you have. I am proud of you for being able to deal, embrace and handle this.